For some, Christmas Eve means midnight mass or other religious service that celebrates the birth of the Savior, Jesus Christ. For others, it’s time to gather around the tree or the fireplace and sing Christmas carols while sipping eggnog (perhaps mixed with brandy, rum or bourbon), while opening a single present before Santa Claus brings the real loot the next morning.
This month, I thought I’d share some of my favorite real estate Christmas carols – with my apologies to the original lyricists.
Feel free to sing along with this one if you’ve ever been to a pop-up Christmas tree shop, picked your favorite Christmas tree, and tied it to your car roof to come home and have struggling to get him into the house.
(To the tune of O Christmas Tree) O Christmas tree, I curse you. You will not fit out the stairwell. My condominium is much too small. I don’t think it will end well. I want a tree to decorate but you will not cooperate, so Christmas tree, I will give you to deserving charity.
This next song can serve as an annual reminder to winterize your home and have your chimney inspected.
(To the tune of The Christmas Song) Chestnuts roasting over an open fire. I forgot to check the conduit. The smoke now rising in the room makes us cough and spit. As we run outside to catch our breath and clear our heads, our eyes are watery and red. Next year fear not, I’ll make sure the duct is clear or serve popcorn instead.
Have you ever wanted to bang on the ceiling of your apartment to tell your neighbors upstairs to party more quietly? If so, here is your song.
(To the tune of Do You Hear What I Hear?) My husband said to me on Christmas Eve, âDo you hear what I hear? Listen, it’s coming from above! Do you hear what I hear? The moans, the moans, the cries of joy. They will keep us awake all night. I replied, âYou are probably right. ”
A good landlord will make sure you have the right tools to keep their property in good repair, but it can come at a cost, as this song explains.
(To the tune of 12 days of Christmas) The 12e on Christmas day my landlord gave me: 12 furnace filters, 11 childproof latches, 10 LED bulbs, 9 picture sheds, 8 bristle brushes, 7 spackle pots, 6 smoke detectors, 5 cans of paint, 4 tubes of caulk, 3 spotlights, 2 window locks and an increase in my rent for next year.
Last year, the pandemic prevented us from seeing our loved ones during the holidays. As you decide to venture out this year, this song may be on the tip of your tongue.
(To the tune of I’ll be home for Christmas) I’ll be home for Christmas. The Covid won’t stop me. Triple vaxxed and double masked, I will see my family. I don’t have to take a plane, take a train or a bus. I can drive to meet them or zoom in there if I have to.
As you hang your stockings on the fireplace mantel and bake cookies and milk for Santa on Christmas Eve, remember if you’ve been mean or nice this year when you sing this song.
(To the tune of White Christmas, with paint in Sherwin Williams 0055) I dream of a white kitchen like the one I saw today, so I have to plan it with Sea Pearl granite and stainless steel accents. Maybe I’ll have a blue island to go with some Light French Gray walls. And I’ll add white subway tiles before all of that stuff goes out of style.
And to my Jewish friends, whose Hanukkah celebration took place earlier this year, I couldn’t pass up the holidays without a Christmas song for you too.
(To the tune of I Saw Three Ships A Sailing) I ate Chinese on Christmas Day. My Christian friends were all away. They know I don’t party with turkey and green beans and dressing. I didn’t need to cook or entertain in the breakfast nook, so I went out for wonton soup, peking duck, and moon cake.
So, my friends, as I close 2021, allow me to rock you with this last little song to show my appreciation (to the tune of We Wish You a Merry Christmas).
I wish you a Merry Christmas. Hope you will get all your wishes. I am grateful for all of you, my friends, and see you next year!
Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in DC, Maryland and Virginia with RLAH Real Estate. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her through DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.